


At What Cost?

by PitofInsanity



Series: Toy Soldier [6]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: CG!Spinel, Gen, Parental Instinct, Protective Siblings, Self-Doubt, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23505382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitofInsanity/pseuds/PitofInsanity
Summary: It’s a good idea, she tells herself. It is. Steven needs to know how to fight. Especially with Homeworld’s seemingly renewed interest in their planet. Especially after he had somehow gotten himself eaten on his last mission. This is a good thing.That doesn’t make her any less nervous.Or, Spinel wishes things could be different.(A CG!Spinel story set somewhere in S1.)
Relationships: Amethyst & Spinel (Steven Universe), Amethyst & Steven Universe, Spinel & Steven Universe
Series: Toy Soldier [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563904
Comments: 8
Kudos: 38





	At What Cost?

**Author's Note:**

> A note to new readers, 
> 
> This work is part of a series written in non-chronological order and as such, each entry is written to stand alone to the best of its ability while still keeping continuity with the rest of the AU. That being said, it is encouraged to start with "Toy Soldier" to get a gist of the story. 
> 
> The non-chronological nature of this series also means that references to other works in this series may be present. Therefore, a list of recommended fics to continue with, if desired, is found below.
> 
> 1\. "Toy Soldier"  
> 2\. "Bandages"  
> 3: "The Ties that Bind"
> 
> Again, this series can be read in any order with the basic premise being that Spinel has been a Crystal Gem since the war.

“We need to talk,” says Amethyst as soon Spinel steps off the warp. “ _Privately_ ,” she adds, gesturing to the temple door.

Spinel raises a brow. It’s late and she’s tired and in desperate need of a shower. But Amethyst’s face is uncharacteristically serious, so she bites down her protests and follows her inside.

“It’s about Steven,” the shorter gem continues as she winds her way past the piles of junk that make up her room. “I think we should start taking him on missions.”

“He’s _been_ on missions-” Spinel begins, but cuts off with a yelp as Amethyst rounds on her, suddenly. She steps back in shock.

“Those aren’t missions, those are _errands_! I mean _real_ missions.”

Spinel bites her lip and looks away. “I don’t know what-”

“You know _exactly_ what I mean!”

“Then why are you telling me? Garnet handles mission assignments!”

“Well, yeah! But we all know _you_ have the final call on Steven stuff!”

“I-”

“No!” yells the purple gem, voice cracking. “You don’t understand! He _needs_ this! He…” she trails off, wiping furiously at the tears in her eyes. “I caught him crying today after you all left. I thought it was ‘cause he wanted to go with you so I made some dumb joke, you know? Something about being lucky that we could be lazy all day, and you know what he said?” She chuckles bitterly before continuing, “He said, ‘I’m sorry.’ Just that. ‘ _I’m sorry_.’ But I knew what he meant. I just _knew_.”

She doesn’t bother to elaborate, but then again she doesn’t have to. Spinel can fill in the blanks well enough on her own.

It’s not that she likes leaving Steven behind. She doesn’t. Not at all. She knows too well the sadness in his eyes whenever they leave for the warp. Understands the guilt in his gaze when they come back injured. She gets it.

And yet…

“He’s just a _kid_ , Amethyst.”

“He’s a gem too. Doesn’t that count for something?”

Spinel sighs into her hands. Amethyst has a point. And It would be good for him to be more involved or, at the very least, learn how to defend himself.

“... I’ll think about it.”

“Thank-“

“ _Don’t_ ,” she growls. “Don’t thank me. Not for this.”

She turns and leaves without another word.

* * *

_It takes a moment for her to come back to reality. The crackle of the fireplace sounds just like the lit torches of her dream, after all. But it’s Steven’s voice that pulls her back into the present._

_Spinel sits up groggily on the couch with a groan. She’s not one for sleep, hates it in fact. But sometimes it was hard to stay awake with a little boy dozing on her lap._

_Steven says something to her left. She blinks. “I- Sorry, what was that?”_

_“I just wanted to know if you were okay. You were crying.”_

_She touches her cheek in surprise and sure enough, her fingers come back wet. The dream returns in flashes, fragmented and scattered. It’s a yelp and a wail. Gem shards and a too-small casket. The haunting feeling of arriving too late._

_“Y-yeah,” she answers finally. “Just a bad dream, is all.”_

* * *

Spinel caves eventually, but not without a condition. After all, she’d gone into her first battle without any substantial training, and she’d be damned before she makes the same mistake with him.

It’s a good idea, she tells herself. It is. Steven needs to know how to fight. Especially with Homeworld’s seemingly renewed interest in their planet. Especially after he had somehow gotten himself _eaten_ on his last mission. This is a good thing.

That doesn’t make her any less nervous.

The Sky Arena is just as she remembers it, albeit a little more ruined. Steven bounces beside her, excited and eager for his first lesson, and she swallows the lump in her throat that appears when she looks at him. He’s just so _small_.

She doesn’t know why she does it, but she grabs his shoulder as he passes and gives it a quick squeeze. There’s an emotion she can’t quite place bubbling inside her and a thousand things she wants to say. But he meets her gaze with a hint of anxiety in his smile, and the advice and apologies catch in her throat. 

She wishes him luck instead.

And somewhere, in the back of her mind, she hopes he can forgive her for this one day.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something happy, but this came out instead. Haha
> 
> Okay, level with me guys. Is the oneshot format working for you? Cause like, I could put it all in one story, but none of it’s in chronological order so I figured it be easier, but I dunno. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Also I guess I have a tumblr now, so come say hi if you want? There’s not much on there though.  
> https://toka-youintrouble.tumblr.com/


End file.
